Saturday, August 25, 2012

Been awhile.

Well im pregnant again this time with a girl. Im not too hapy about it. I wanted another lil boy as i love them. I also found out a cousin is pregnant with twin boys due right behind me (im due beginning of december and she beginning of january). While im happy for her i feel pushed under the bus now. i know this is her first/second but this is my first girl what about me and her?? i want the attention that i was getting. I hope we dont deliver at the same time. I hate that she waited til she was 5 months to announce because it feels like she kicked my feet out from under me and its not fair.. I know not everything is fair. But my step sister said from day one if its a girl she would throw me a shower then tells me two weeks ago that she couldnt afford it. But the tell the cousin she is going to throw her one. That is messed up to me. but not much i can do. I feel petty and ridiculous for how i feel but i cant help it. probably hormones and just being me. i dont know but im upset and want to cry because i feel like she wont be loved since the other babies will be coming around when she does. ugh i dont know what to do or the "correct" way to feel.